The Last Thing You Said - Sara Biren

Title: The Last Thing You Said
Author: Sara Biren
Pages: 320
Publisher: Amulet Books
Source: Netgalley
Goodreads rating:

About: Last summer, Lucy’s and Ben’s lives changed in an instant. One moment, they were shyly flirting on a lake raft, finally about to admit their feelings to each other after years of yearning. In the next, Trixie—Lucy’s best friend and Ben’s sister—was gone, her heart giving out during a routine swim. And just like that, the idyllic world they knew turned upside down, and the would-be couple drifted apart, swallowed up by their grief. Now it’s a year later in their small lake town, and as the anniversary of Trixie’s death looms, Lucy and Ben’s undeniable connection pulls them back together. They can’t change what happened the day they lost Trixie, but the summer might finally bring them closer to healing—and to each other.

This story was, eh, fine.  Lucy is still reeling from the death of her best friend, Trixie.  She's picked up a new best friend, but distanced herself from Ben, Trixie's brother, who she was almost dating before Trixie died.  She starts dating a summer boy and, if you know anything about vacation towns, you know it isn't going to last.  She also starts rebelling a little bit against her parents.  Meanwhile, the whole summer keeps throwing Lucy and Ben together while all they want to do is avoid each other.

See, that all sounds find.  But listen y'all, I am so tired of bad-boy characters ruining books for me.

Not that kind of bad boy.

I almost feel like I should make a list.  Hey, why not?

Things I hate about Ben

• Grief excuses a lot in my book.  You never know how people will react in these situations.  Ben's, "I hate that you're here and she isn't," is not acceptable.  It's not like they were in a car accident and Lucy survived while Trixie didn't.  Lucy had literally nothing to do with her death.  She should have told him to eff right the hell off.
• "Lucy's ponytails are usually crooked or she'll miss a few strands that curl around her neck or one side will be bumpy.  And if you look closely, you can see that one of Lucy's blue eyes is narrower at the outside corner than the other."  Dude, you're a creep.
• This should really be attached to the last bullet point, but it's getting its own.  I just don't buy Ben describing Lucy the way he does.  It feels very much like a woman writing a boy's voice (which I hate tbh).  He's grieving his dead sister, but makes sure to note that Lucy's hair is caramel colored.  No.  I would accept it more from Simon, who is supposed to be an artist, but still, no.
• I fucking hate when boys call girls 'my girl' when they're not together.  It's gross and weird.  Whitehouse.org petition to end that shit.

Sadly The Last Thing You Said wasn't a winner for me.  I just couldn't get over Ben's obnoxiousness.  What could have been a fine story about grieving was otherwise ruined by a boy who was kind of possessive for being the one that ruined their whole would-be relationship to start with.  

You're Welcome, Universe - Whitney Gardner

Title: You're Welcome, Universe
Author: Whitney Gardner
Pages: 304
Publisher: Knopf
Source: Netgalley
Goodreads rating: 

About: When Julia finds a slur about her best friend scrawled across the back of the Kingston School for the Deaf, she covers it up with a beautiful (albeit illegal) graffiti mural.

Her supposed best friend snitches, the principal expels her, and her two mothers set Julia up with a one-way ticket to a “mainstream” school in the suburbs, where she’s treated like an outcast as the only deaf student. The last thing she has left is her art, and not even Banksy himself could convince her to give that up.

Out in the ’burbs, Julia paints anywhere she can, eager to claim some turf of her own. But Julia soon learns that she might not be the only vandal in town. Someone is adding to her tags, making them better, showing off—and showing Julia up in the process. She expected her art might get painted over by cops. But she never imagined getting dragged into a full-blown graffiti war.

I was a little wary after the last art book I attempted was a let down, but You're Welcome Universe was a pleasant surprise.  Julia gets kicked out of her (deaf) school after being caught painting over someone calling her best friend a slut on a school wall.  This means regular school.  It means being surrounded by 'hearies' who don't understand her.  It means having an interpreter following her around to all her classes.  It means her two moms being mad at her.  And, worst of all, it means being locked out of an advanced art class because she switches mid-year.

Once Julia's at her new school, she finds out her best friend Jordan isn't on quite the same friend page as her when she starts dating Julia's crush.  I mean, it was already a slippery slope what with Jordan turning her in to save her own ass.  So, yeah.  That's over.  She starts spending her now friendless free time working on her street art.  She starts small by adding a piece to a stop sign.  Which then gets added to by someone else, effectively calling her out.  Julia's pieces get bigger and more ambitious, and the unknown tagger keeps up, calling her out again and again.  This infuriates her and she becomes obsessed with knowing who this other street artist is.

The best part of the book is Julia's friendship with a girl she dubs 'YP' for the yoga pants she favors.  It was so nice to watch their friendship develop.  At first Julia is very us versus them about the hearies at her new school, but as YP continues to hang around and pick up ASL, they become good friends.  They each get a taste of each other's world and Julia eventually makes it into the art class she was originally shut out of.

I loved a lot of the little things about this book.  I love that there are pictures of Julia's art included in the pages, and I love that one of her moms bought her a wall!

I know, right??

Also I love how Julia's lip reading was notated in the book.  It was super frustrating to read so I can only imagine what it's like to actually have to lip read to understand someone.  I super loved when she found out the little balls inside of spray paint cans make noise.  There was one part of the story that I found a touch unbelievable.  I think you'll know it when it happens, but it's in there to keep Julia inspired and painting so I'll give it a pass.  I just think it's a little too big for this book.

It's the small moments in You're Welcome, Universe that kept me coming back for more.  It's a great story of a deaf street artist and a growing friendship. It's about allowing competition to build yourself up instead of breaking you down and stretching yourself creatively.  I loved taking this journey with Julia.

Done Dirt Cheap - Sarah Nicole Lemon

Title: Done Dirt Cheap
Author: Sarah Nicole Lemon
Pages: 336
Publisher: Amulet Books
Source: Netgalley
Goodreads rating: 

About:  Tourmaline Harris’s life hit pause at fifteen, when her mom went to prison because of Tourmaline’s unintentionally damning testimony. But at eighteen, her home life is stable, and she has a strong relationship with her father, the president of a local biker club known as the Wardens.

Virginia Campbell’s life hit fast-forward at fifteen, when her mom “sold” her into the services of a local lawyer: a man for whom the law is merely a suggestion. When Hazard sets his sights on dismantling the Wardens, he sends in Virginia, who has every intention of selling out the club—and Tourmaline. 
 But the two girls are stronger than the circumstances that brought them together, and their resilience defines the friendship at the heart of this powerful debut novel. Sons of Anarchy meets Thelma & Louise.

OMG love.  I loved this book.  Love love love.  Heart eye emojis everywhere.  I saw the cover on Netgalley and was immediately like, that one gimmie that one. *grabby hands*  And for once I was completely correct in my gut reaction!

Done Dirt Cheap is about two girls, Virginia and Tourmaline, brought together by circumstance and just a little bit of scheming.  Tourmaline is the daughter of the president of the Wardens, a notorious motorcycle club.  Virginia was sold to a lawyer at a young age to cover her mother's legal debts, where she does everything from pageants to drug dealing.  Now, her boss wants her to get in with the Wardens, and the best way to do that without raising eyebrows is through T.  Meanwhile, T sees V as someone who can help her get contraband to her mother, who T accidentally got sent to prison.

I loved Virginia and Tourmaline both so much.  Virginia has been trying to claw herself out of this deal her mother made for way too long.  She's tough, she's smart...she's in over her head - but she doesn't let that stop her from trying her damnedest.  T is so interesting.  With all the shit in her life you wouldn't think to describe her as naive, but that's what she comes to realize she is by the end of the book.  She's been so protected by her father and the club that she doesn't even know who she is.  She really wants to take control of her own life and what she wants, be it the new hot conscript, Cash, or just riding a motorcycle on her own.  I can't even pick a favorite between these two ladies, I just love them so much.

The best part about their friendship is that, when the bottom falls out, and you know it will, they DEAL with it.  They don't have the time to avoid each other and let it fester and fade away.  They're in deep and these girls are actively taking control of their lives, so they work through their issues in one long night and move on - together.  Ladies, am I right?  "We're friends because when girls are alone in the world, they're easier to pick off." ❤

So not only is there a bangarang friendship in this book, two amazingly built romantic relationships  as well.  Virginia's with (definitely a bad idea) Jason - he's 28, a member of the Wardens, and has some demons in his past, but V will not be swayed.  Is it the most appropriate relationship?  Probably not. But I love T's insistence that V's 18 is not her 18 (and I love that she reminds T of her mother, ready to be a queen of the club).  V and Jason feel like a good match.  It's really lovely to watch the quiet moments between these two people who are usually all distraction and show.  Don't even get me started on T and Cash.  Immediately I'm into it because they shouldn't be together.  She's the daughter of the president of the club that he's conscripted to join.  She's untouchable by club rules, but she can't bring herself to stay away.  He's black, she's white, and it's the South.  But, like, they both understand each other so well.  They're both the kids of club members.  The club is so much of their lives, but they're not quite in it.  SO GOOD.

This book was a wild ride from start to finish.  It is a story of desperation, friendship, hopelessness, and change.  I loved every minute of it, from the complicated lady friendships to the hot hot motorcycle riding men they love.  If you like your ladies of the badass variety, your lawyers and police officers corrupt, and your pasts coming back to haunt you, pick up Done Dirt Cheap.  You won't be sorry!

How to Break a Boy - Laurie Devore

Title: How to Break a Boy
Author: Laurie Devore
Pages: 352
Publisher: Imprint
Source: Netgalley
Goodreads rating: 

About: Keep your enemies close, but your friends closer. 
Olivia Clayton has mastered the art of tearing others down to stay on top. She and her best friend, Adrienne, rule their small southern town like all good mean girls do--through intimidation and manipulation. 
 After Olivia suffers a family tragedy and catches Adrienne sleeping with her boyfriend, Olivia is over it. She decides to make a change--but it's impossible to resist taking Adrienne down one last time. Up to her old tricks, Olivia convinces golden boy Whit DuRant to be her SAT tutor and her fake boyfriend. But when it starts to feel real, Whit gets caught up in Olivia and Adrienne's war. 
Olivia may ruin everything she touches, but this time she won't go down without a fight--not if it means losing Whit. 
And definitely not if it means losing what's left of herself.

Nothing gets me to pick something up faster than the words 'fake dating.'  I don't know what it is, but it's seriously my book kryptonite.  I am powerless in the face of a good fake relationship.  There's feelings and misunderstandings and then even more feelings...sigh.  I just love it so much.  So anyway, I would describe How to Break a Boy as Some Girls Are mixed with John Tucker Must Die.  It takes on serious issues, while not taking itself too seriously.  There's toxic friendships, grief-induced bad decisions, a fake relationship, real feelings - all the makings of a great story.

I have mixed feelings about this book.  At the onset, I was not totally on board.  I just wanted Olivia to get away from Adrienne.  She treats Liv horribly and Liv can't make herself stay away, even though Adrienne's a terrible person.  She excuses it by telling herself that she's trying to play Ade, but really she doesn't know who she is without her best friend.  In the middle I found myself enjoying it more, and here I am at the end and I...liked it, I think?  Whit helped a lot.  I like that he wasn't afraid to go up against Liv, to challenge her.  He was a good guy without being a complete goody two shoes.  I wish we spent more time on their relationship.

I also wish Liv was more committed to what she wanted, or at least more willing to commit.  I understand not being totally sold on her own crazy plan in the beginning, but towards the middle I just wanted her to tell Ade to fuck off and be with Whit.  And I know she wanted that, but she can't break out of the horrific shit her and Ade used to pull.  She does this all this absolutely heinous stuff to him - like future ruining stuff.  And she doesn't even feel completely bad about it!  I mean, I guess this makes her a more real character.  She didn't just change her spots at the drop of a hat, but it's frustrating for me because I'm over here yelling JUST LET THEM BE IN LOVE like a crazy person.  I also wanted her to commit more to destroying Ade, if that's what she wanted.  Idk, define your goals and work to achieve them girl.

How to Break a Boy was a solid contemporary read for me.  Liv had a lot of stuff going on - taking on the meanest of mean girls (who's also her best friend), grieving the loss of her brother, faking dating Whit, sort of really dating Whit, destroying and rebuilding friendships.  I wish we could have spent more time with Whit and Liv together, but I get why we couldn't.  Olivia's journey from mean girl to slightly less mean girl was a bumpy road, but it's one I'm glad I went on.

After the Fall - Kate Hart

Title: After the Fall
Author: Kate Hart
Pages: 336
Publisher: Farrar, Straus & Giroux
Source: Netgalley
Goodreads rating:  

About: Seventeen-year-old Raychel is sleeping with two boys: her overachieving best friend Matt…and his slacker brother, Andrew. Raychel sneaks into Matt’s bed after nightmares, but nothing ever happens. He doesn’t even seem to realize she’s a girl, except when he decides she needs rescuing. But Raychel doesn't want to be his girl anyway. She just needs his support as she deals with the classmate who assaulted her, the constant threat of her family’s eviction, and the dream of college slipping quickly out of reach. Matt tries to help, but he doesn’t really get it… and he’d never understand why she’s fallen into a secret relationship with his brother. The friendships are a precarious balance, and when tragedy strikes, everything falls apart. Raychel has to decide which pieces she can pick up – and which ones are worth putting back together.

I feel like it's really hard to talk about this book without talking about the back half of it, but I don't want to spoil anything so I'm going to try my best.  The summary above feels a little complicated to me for some reason.  Raychel's best friend Matt is her greatest support system.  Her mom's not around much, her dad's not in the picture, and over the years she's come to adopt Matt's family as her own.  Complicating things are Raychel's all caps REPUTATION (she only hooks up with college guys), her assault at the hands of a fellow classmate, Matt's secret feelings for her, and her burgeoning relationship with Matt's little brother, Andrew.

Books about assault are so, so complicated.  No one person reads them the same way, but there are always strong feelings about them.  I thought the way the assault was handled in After the Fall was good.  Raychel's confusing feelings about what Carson did to her were heartbreakingly realistic.  This story makes some good points about consent, but they feel very specifically inserted into the story.  Like, 'this is how we as a society should feel so let's have an Adult™ impart these views to the victim.'

Most of my problems with this book don't actually stem from the assault storyline, they stem from the characters.  Matt is THE WORST.  

Not you Matty, ILU

Like, Captain Friendzone.  Just because you want her doesn't make her yours (and he kept referring to her as 'my girl.' Bleck).  It feels like he's been waiting out all these years of friendship just so he can finally bang her.  GROSS.  That's not friendship, you're creepy and an asshole.  I don't really feel any sympathy for him in this situation.  And having Raychel say that he makes her feel safe and she needs someone that she knows doesn't just want her around so she'll sleep with him makes it feel even ickier when he's cataloging every touch.   Near the end of the book he seems to make some progress with his therapist regarding the friendzone stuff, and if that was the point of his character, okay I guess?  I just feel like you're supposed to agree with him the whole time and it feels super yucky.

Good for Raychel for starting something up with Andrew.  He doesn't sit there and tell her what she should be doing or put her on a pedestal or lie in wait until she'll finally sleep with him.  Andrew and Raychel have stuff in common.  They enjoy each other's company and - oh wait - they actually made out. Bless.  Andrew is my favorite character in this whole shit show.  He's super chill.  He drinks, smokes, and plays a lot of video games, but isn't presented as a burnout.  He's also trying to improve his grades so he can get into a good college and he respects Raychel (which is more than I can say for his brother). 

I liked Raychel's relationship with her mom.  It wasn't your typical low income mom makes bad choices, chooses bad boyfriends over kid, etc etc.  I like that it was complicated.  Her mom does make bad monetary choices, but she's human and is trying.  She's (understandably) jealous of the Richardson's relationship with her daughter.  It's nice to see the pair grow a little bit closer over the course of the story.

After the Fall wasn't a winner for me.  There were things I liked, namely the important distinctions raised about consent, Andrew as a whole, and Raychel's relationship with her mother.  There were also things I couldn't get over.  Matt is one of the most obnoxious characters I've come across in a long time.  His friendzoned feelings were gross, especially because of what happened to Raychel.   Unfortunately he really dragged the story down for me and there was no coming back.